Hes even gone out of his way to show attention to her sons. Good luck i hope it helps, keep us posted:D. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. She told me he was the one looking for her. Ive gotten him a waiver for services and Im teaching him to drive. I decided that if they would treat me like that once, they would likely do it again, so I keep them at a distance from my life now, my new husband does not have any desire to have them around us or my two young adult children who had to learn what a real family was all about with their new family who love and adore all of us unconditionally. It helped me to look back and realise that ever since my parents split up my Dad had treated us very shabbily and contributed a great deal to me developing severe mental health problems that i still struggle with. readmore While that all may sound scary, it's not always the norm. This is not about your ex, its about you. However, the situation youre in makes it very hard for you and your boyfriend to move on psychologically. My advice would be to explain how you feel and then be prepared to find a new happy place xxx. I hope youre ok You are very strong and please stay strong for your kids . If you CAN. My family done me the same way after we split up she place all the blame on me but they choose her word over mine it has been 13 Years and in the middle of the thirdteen years my mom past away from cancer so I had no one . He said he put stuff away and come to bed. One factor that f abusive/toxic families however is that they naturally pull together to preserve the good family identity. The ex needs to get his own life and stop casting a shadow on yours. You are not being unreasonable. My ex maintained his relationships with all of the men in my family. It takes work sometimes painful work but itsi possible. I was absolutely heartbroken and also full of anger. My father remains in contact with him and goes to their house. Before we married, he told my husband he was very upset we werenttelling his ex-wife according to his standard and timeline. Are you going to make your children choose sides are you going to really be the one who already decided to tear your family apart but to make each of them choose a side. It makes it harder for me to bond with my new family if the ex is constantly a presence. My children wanted nothing to do with him for the first 4 years after our divorce. You need to find a support system entirely separate from your family and possibly seek a therapist and lawyer to help you to cope and protect your children from the influence of what seems to be a narcissistic dynamic. He raised my kids with me but always treated them different then the kids we had together, my ex hated my family always complained about them and talked crap about them. I now want to love and be loved without interferences from my family and ex. well got a 7 year sentence but knock down to 4 yrs with my testimony. We had no children and its not normal or natural for a family to take sides, especially with someone not a blood relative. Her response was that she wouldnt because he would see us hanging out together and we would get back at him that way. I am in total agreement. He constantly contacts my brothers wife and gives her the woe is me sob story and she feels sorry for him. Apparently they like him better than they like you and are willing to sacrifice you for him, which is a whole different therapy session, but if you want your family back, you have to make him and his new girlfriend be the ones to decide that it just feels weird to be part of YOUR family any longer. Just found this as I was doing my own research. Partly because My Brother never liked my Ex-husband, and talked awful about him and never hung out with him. Ouch!! But it doesnt mean that everyone who seperate was in one. I feel this is all ridiculous, if my sisters where in the same boat, I would side with them. At some point though I have to decide, that if I can forgive them in my heart, I can keep it to myself. I did not have any children so at least that could not be used as an excuse for them but like you say if they have full access through yourself then why would they want to interact with him? No , you are not unreasonable, your family are betraying you , everyone can understand how you feel when your family pick your ex and his girlfriend over you , you dont have to take all that unnecessary pressure if you see they continue stop hanging out with them , I know it is hard but believe me you will feel better after a while, I was in your situation too and I couldnt believe how my trust and love were betrayed and took long time to get over my feelings for my family but it is over and I feel much better. We found out that it was because they allowed his two GROWN sons Mom to come into town with them and join into HIS family festivities. And my financial security Now, if your ex were abusive, if you had concerns that your children werent safe around him, or if he were a criminal that would be something else entirely. When he is at family functions she will sit right next to him the entire time and just talk and talk, and she will ignore me or look at me to see if it is bothering me. Its incredibly painful. Have you talked to your perents, becuse there is no mention of there response. I too have had horrible family that scenerio you describe is similar to mine.one thing I would encourage you to rethink, you stated above that Hes a great Dad and Person..I too have for many years said, believed those words.but I sadly had to realize, those are lies I made to myself to try to keep peace with him.I will continue to keep peace with him for the kids, but.no person man or woman, participates in any gathering where their parent is deliberately excluded. Simple. But then kind of did so.as did his My ex is invited to and comes to many of my family events but its not the same when it comes to his family, he has even kept done of my friends and such its not comfortable to see them all so close and feel purposefully excluded. Im sure there are other options as well that you might want to brainstorm. I never did anything batshit apart to leave a man who I found out since day one had been manipulating my good nature. It depresses me severely now that my children also participate in this process though we have great relations outside of this issueunless I bring it up. I too can relate to this. It didnt. What adult children need to understand through their breakup is to beat the consequences of their decisions to marry and human weaknesses( whatever caused the breakup) They do this even though they know it pains me. Its disrespectful and painfuland definitely wouldnt be tolerated if the shoe were on the other footbut any form of bringing it up is never taken seriously, Youre absolutly NOT unreasonable! Whatever differences they may have had as a couple, has no bearing on the feelings extended and exchanged between other members of her family or in-laws. When we had to share a room as kids, we had physical fights almost every day. Its been 30 years. They were ho,ding you back from growing and succeeding. It drives me crazy. Hes a very nice person so I understand that they still cared for him but there are unfortunately times you have to end up choosing a side. And now I find out that my own sisters and brother went to my exs new girlfriends birthday party to celebrate her bday and before that they never liked her. Divorce means move on and this family is way off on how they are treating her. So to say if you are in the rigth or in the wrong is next to impossible to say becuse well its only your words and its mostly about your emotional well bining. You are literally piling judgement and shame on people who have already lost a husband (yes we grieve even though we decided to leave) and pretty much their whole family. As best I tried I could no longer see them as good people, nor could I see the world as a good place. Theresa were you ever in an abusive relationship?! My ex asked me to abort our children and knocked me on the ground when I was 8 months pregnant. Whatever the divorce situation was, it is still eating at you, since you sometimes feel jealous that the kids get so much attention from the girlfriend etc. He needs to take a hike. Because it ISNT normal for a family to do this! Bur I would hope that you can rise above the natural pangs of jealousy and take a higher road to the future. He is definitely suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. You are absolutely not being unreasonable! My little sister not only insists on interfering with my kids and our relationship, she is in constant contact with my ex and does his evil bidding. spell to cancel a divorce or to cause a divorce and death spell to silence your enemies [emailprotected] gmail. Your hubby is still up close and personal with the family. Try to have a levelheaded conversation with your partner's ex if you sense that the situation is escalating. i said wen u get out lets just b friends take it sliw he said no i know wat i want that u we wrote phone calls in all his letter he tell me how much he loves me i brought him out of darkness he has big dreams 4 us hell never change bout how he feels 4 me b in love well wen he got out he told me that he only want 2 b a friend he moving 8 months 2 his mom his ex he talk so bad about got there son taken away 2 state wen he got out he got him bak now his ex rehab has her personal b longing in his closet she doesnt want someone steal her stuff while in rehab.. he sys she didnt put her things in her son cliset his cliset her ex .. that told me they still having sex she over there wen the boy not surpise 2 b round his mom he lets his son c her not let the case worker know plz give me ur advice anyone . My personal opinion on this matter, is that since you and your ex are co-parenting, it changes the game completely. When you divorce you shouldnt still get the perks of your exs family. I am going through the exact situation! When your family does basically keep your ex and they dont care that it hurts you, you know exactly where you stand in their minds. They do not want to meet you. Maybe the family has their reason for being distant. She moved in with him; they got a dog together, and she helped him raise his son for the 6+ years that they lived together (the boy's mother is still in . But guess who my family chooses? My ex was the one that filed for divorce! In fact, they supported and continue to support him. Need help with your relationship? I dont know what to do Im caught in the middle and stand by my wife 100%. Its not being Cordial its being totally and absolutely insensitive, now if they were all best buddies before I guess I could see it to an extent. These kind of people seem to have an inability for any kind of self reflection, empathy or change. When we divorced he ended up with a Thai girl and they had a baby. We ALREADY HAVE AND ARE sucking it up! No wonder their are more single moms now then any other generation before you. So if on his time he schedules an event ( bowling) and invites her family and they go they are allowed but I suspect once the OP hears about from her kids it will still hurt. Be very careful about how you continue because how you choose to act now could have ramifications for your relationship with your child and grandchildren for many years to come. Hello to the general public i want to testify of a good love spell caster called Prophet peter popularly known as doctor noble he brought back my ex who have left me for 3 months now after we had a little fight she told me she doesnt want to be with me anymore because she found someone else i was so sad because i love her so much, i told my friend about it and he gave me Prophet perter email ID and i contacted him he told me everything will be fine i did everything he asked me to do and he told me after 24 hours my girlfriend will come back to me and the next day to my greatest surprise it was my girlfriend knocking at my door he kneel down begging me to forgive and accept her back now we are happy together all thanks to Prophet Perter contact him for ex back spell , love spell. If your boyfriend and his family find it hard to discuss sensitive issues, then youll probably have to be the one to bring it up. Even ny housekeeper is like a sister to me. Until you start to put the pieces together and confronting them and they start behaving threateningly such as tampering with your car, locking you out of your home, emptying bank accounts, making threats, stalking etc etc. Whatever you do dont become negative or complain about things. She has the problem precisely because of their unsupportive and downright strange behaviour. If a guy is sad for a day, its not a big deal. To start with, he was vocal about the fact he was uncomfortable with her inviting his ex over to their mums house. It takes a hell of a lot of unhappiness and often abuse for someone to not only leave a relationship but their home etc etc. My aunt sees her regularly and talks about her to me like were not divorced. Grow up! You are a cup with a leak, a black hole, and anything good given to you is lost forever. There have been times where his family has visited us, and his Ex has used the teenage son (at the time) to put her on the phone, pass the phone around and have her talk to all of the guests in OUR HOME. A lot. In 2013, Ieft my relationship of eight years. These are six ways to stay in touch with your ex's family, respectfully: Talk To Your Ex First If your desire to stay close with your ex's family is strong enough to fight for, be an adult. They did not care if I was there or not. Its a form of respect, it should be understandable to the ex also without having to assume the family hates him. Because God has changed me and turned everything around. How are things currently? I was married to my husband Anderson, I love him so much that we have been married for seven years with two children. Not a victim A SURVIVOR . I agree with you! I will never have that easy closeness with my sister ever again and Ill never trust her again. 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